


If Only He Knew How Much I Loved Him...

by TimtusTheT_Rex



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Drama & Romance, F/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Rough Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:32:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimtusTheT_Rex/pseuds/TimtusTheT_Rex
Summary: Jamie Rogers is a young woman who heart broken and trying to recover. When her childhood best friend, who also happens to be her ex boyfriend, walks back into her life she ends up falling in love with him all over again. Will Jamie get to be with Jonathan once again, or will she screw it up like she did that last time?





	1. Old Memories Never Fade

This is the story of a girl who fell in love with her best friend, and never had the guts to tell him. A girl who's father is a hero, but didn't see the warning signs to save her from the fallout of a broken relationship. A girl who entered adulthood completely lost. And that girl is me. 

But this story started 19 years ago, on May 9th, when I was born. The moment I was born Jonathan had been destined to be best friends. 2 years old and the son of Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanov, Jonathan Barnes was as cute as a button. I still look at the pictures of his small arms cradling me and just staring at the child his Uncle Steve had handed to him. For years we grew up in Wakanda, playing and going on adventures while our parents fought battles together. When I was 7 and he was 9, Dad decided mom and I needed more stability, so he retired we moved back to America and settled in a small town in Texas. Jonathan stayed in Wakanda since his parents wanted to retire in the country that had saved Uncle Bucky's life. 

8 years went by before we heard from each other again. Dad and Uncle Bucky of course since they are still best friends to this day, but we were kids when we left each other and never thought to keep in touch. That's why when I was 15 and saw the friend request on Facebook, I was surprised when I realized I had forgotten my best friend in another country. Immediately we connected through messenger. Nearly 24/7 we were talking. Nothing could stop us. Not our parents, or the time zone differences, or school. But as our talking continued, my feelings grew. We weren't kids anymore, or so I thought in my head. Connection turned to feelings, and feelings turned to love. Not just "omg I think I love him" but unashamed, very deep, very serious love. 

But it wasn't meant to be, because as soon as I was brave enough to confess my love, he made a confession of his own. I should've known an amazing guy like him would already have a girl friend, but reality hit me like a truck. And so with great reluctance, without warning, I cut him out of my life before I made the mistake of dragging a guy from his girlfriend. And cut out he stayed for 4 more years. 

And this is where we are now, 19 years old and entirely confused. Because even though I have a serious boyfriend, I am still deeply in love with Jonathan Barnes. Only I didn't know it until he texted me, asking why I was in Wakanda after 12 years...


	2. Wakanda is My Home too

I began to shake as we approached Jonathan's house. uncle Bucky Embraced dad with big arms and smiles on both their faces. I looked over thwir shoulders to see Jonathan standing just as awkwardly as I was. And Boy was hr a vision... Bright red hair like his mom but the deepest blue eyes you could get lost in. He is quite the stunner for sure. As our fathers released embraces and our mothers finsihed their's, it was time to go inside and catch up. 

He sat across from me totally silent as i told Uncle Bucky and Aunt Nat about my plans for the future. I had taken a break befire starting college and will be starting soon, and that's why I was here. I wanted to look into Wakanda's extensive choices for education. After a traditional wakandan dinner and the parents going out to visit King T'challa, Jonathan and i were left alone on the vast property. I had left the house a while ago to go explore the acres of land surrounding the charming home. I turned at the sound of rustling grass and found Jonathan there just staring at me. 

"How ya been?" I asked softly. 

"Heart broken since you stopped talking to me." 

"You know I had to."

"No. You didn't. You were my best friend."

He moved closer to me and looked down into my eyes. He was taller than me which was rare to find a man like that considering I am 5 foot 9 inches. 

"I was more than that and you know it."

He sighed and looked off into the distance. 

"Are you still with here?" I ask boldly

"Yes I am." 

"Does she know what we did?" I asked quietly. 

"Yes she does." He mumbled. 

"And she's still with you?" I ask startled. 

"She knows it was just a fling." 

Before i know it I feel my palm collide with his cheek. I didn't even know i was doing it until it was done. 

"That's why i stopped talking to you. You had a girlfriend and we still had a relationship. You can say it was just a fling but i don't sext with anybody Jonathan. Esspecially since I was only 15."

He held his cheek and just stared at me. 

"You wonder why i dropped off the face of the earth? Its because I was nothing to you."

He just stares at the ground for a moment nefire speaking again.

"I know. I hurt you bad and i feel awful. But I was just a kid too. I didn't understand what i was doing. And I want us to be friends again. Maybe even best friends again." 

I look into his eyes for a moment and sigh. I had forgiven him long ago. And though it still hurts that our relationship failed so horribly, i missed his friendship desperately. 

"I would like that." I say softly with a slight smile. 

He returns my smile with one of his own and boy did that light a fire in me. 

We walked back silently to the house, just relishing in each other's presence. When we get back to the house we give each other some small talk about our lives. That's when Rachell is brought up, his girl friend. 

"We started dating again a few months ago. I needed a break but was lucky when I was ready to try again and nobody had whisked her away."

"That's good. I'm glad." I said with a forced smile. 

"Are you seeing anybody?"

"Actually I am, his name is Taylor."

Now he is giving me the same forced and tight smile. We sat awkwardly the rest of the night, and i think we both no why. Our feelings for each other never actually died off.


End file.
